George and Cindy Got Caylee Tattoo’s!

I absolutely love it! What a powerful and beautiful tribute to their precious Caylee. I love the fact that they went together to have it done. I’ll never forget the night I got my first. I was so excited and very nervous! Hubby went with me…but was not at all interested is joining me. I had wanted one for years…but I always  managed to talk myself out of  going through with it. Of course fear of the pain was a huge factor…I also worried that I would end up hating what I chose later on in life. But my biggest worry of all was what others would think of me….especially my mother. While it is not a bad thing to want the approval of your mother…the desire for the approval of Rose Marie controlled a great deal of my life. Honestly…I knew my mother would hate it if I got a tattoo. So it really is not a surprise that my first tattoo just happened to be roses.  A long winding vine of magenta roses around my ankle and up the side of my leg just a little. I finally found the nerve to go through with it after a very difficult period in my life. I was 31 and had just been through non-stop panic attacks and the worst depression imaginable.  Let me back up a little… I married very young (17) and I had reached a time in my life when I thought I might have missed out on certain things. I went out with friends. I had never done that before and it was not long before I began to feel guilty…I felt like I was being selfish because I had a family at home. I guess I was trying to recapture my youth and learned that you just cannot go back.  But mostly because I didn’t feel like I deserved to enjoy anything. Of course family is always first and most important. But anytime I did anything for ME I felt extreme guilt. Those feelings began to bubble over through panic attacks and they quickly got so bad that I couldn’t leave even leave my home. It felt like some horrible punishment. Eventually, I sought help and in the process I learned many things about life and about myself. I got my tattoo…I know that some may find it a dumb thing to do… but I am very proud of it. It is the first thing that I have ever done for just me…simply because I wanted it and I felt no guilt.  Every time I look at it I think of that period of time, and how I struggled to feel whole…It reminds me that I was strong enough to come get through it. It reminds me of my mother…and how much I love her and that approval is not a requirement for love. I am planning another tattoo very soon. Actually, I have been planning to for quite awhile now…but I am having a hard time deciding what I want. Butterflies are used  a lot and I really would like to get something that no one else has….but I am  beginning to realize just how appropriate the butterfly is for this stage of my life. Butterfly is all about change. I used to be afraid of change…but at this point I am embracing it! I also thought about copying the footprints of my children from their birth certificate…and having them tattooed on my back. We’ll see. There are nearly as many reasons for getting a tattoo as there are people who have them.  Each person has his or her own particular reason  it may be a common reason or it may be unique but it is nonetheless individual. Tattoos are a means of self-expression. If there is someone or something that you wish to hold close to your heart a tattoo can be a beautiful way of doing it. I hope that George and Cindy feel  the same about their tattoo’s.  They will of course remind them of their precious Caylee Marie….But hopefully in the future they will also remind them of strength it has taken to get through this very difficult period of their lives.

A Celebration of life

I haven’t written a blog in a very long time…but today I feel moved to write something. I debated whether or not I should just keep my mouth shut or send a private message to a certain few individuals with the hope of making the true facts known. Yes…the Anthony family was indeed on a cruise this past weekend and while I am fairly certain that they probably needed a little vacation…that was not only reason that they were on board. They were invited…as was I. You see…ironically I share something very precious with George and Cindy(No I have never met them)…a mutual friend….a beautiful friend who by the grace of God celebrated her birthday this past weekend AND one year cancer free! Unfortunately, I was unable to attend….but I just wanted all of you who are assuming the worst to know…that there was nothing seedy or underhanded about this trip. It was a celebration of life and a moment of peace!

I suspected that  the trip would be leaked to the press….and if so that Cindy would most likely be blamed and/or accused of seeking media attention by alerting the press. On Saturday I read a twitter post by http://twitter.com/Desi0109 “My parents went on a cruise today for the weekend and george and Cindy Anthony are on that bitch lol”2:22 PM Oct 16th from Twitterrific

That was posted merely an hour or so after the ship left the dock (golly I wonder how the media found out)…so as you can see no time was wasted informing the media….and it wasn’t by Cindy. Also…when Cindy told the news reporter “The Vacation Was From You Guys” She didn’t mean that the media paid for it…she meant the vacation was to get away from them.

Abuse, Murder, Child Abductee Found in Home

National Call to Action! Please subscribe to  Action Alerts!

www.ChildrenWithoutAVoiceUSA.org
Please be a voice for the children today. If you find it difficult to read child abuse cases, THEN DON’T! But please support our efforts to end crimes against children by subscribing to receive our 2-4 Action Alerts a month. You will receive District Attorney contact information for specific child abuse cases as they occur. Simply copy and paste the sample email we provide, asking the prosecuting attorney to pursue maximum sentencing in each case. Not until we all rise up and say no more and by asking for tougher sentencing, will this epidemic in America end. Please take a quick minute each time you get an alert and help the children. It is each and every adult’s responsibility to protect ALL children, not just our own.
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Portage, Wisconsin
Abuse, Murder, Child Abductee Found in Home
By Silvia Acevedo, Jenn Rourke & AP
6-16-09

The woman, whose body was found buried in a yard after officers investigating a child abduction case, appears to have been strangled. She also appeared to have sustained numerous injuries suggesting she was physically abused, the Columbia County medical examiner said Saturday. Medical examiner Marc T. Playman commented after an autopsy by Dr. Mark Witeck, a forensic pathologist.

Police also found an 11-year-old boy at the home who was malnourished and had been severely tortured. Playman said the woman, whose body was found Friday, was believed to have been the boy’s 37-year-old mother, but he was awaiting fingerprint and possibly DNA analysis to make a positive determination. The body was found after the woman’s children — the 11-year-old boy and a 15-year-old daughter — told police she went missing around Memorial Day. The daughter said, after lengthy questioning, that her mother might have been buried. A cadaver dog helped authorities locate the burial spot. According to police, four adults, including the woman who died, and five children had lived at the home since February. Before that, the group lived in many states, including Florida, Tennessee, Maine and Colorado, and had stayed in motels in the Wisconsin Dells area. Police were originally called to the home Thursday afternoon on a report from Florida that an abducted 2-year-old girl could be living there with her mother. Authorities found six people: two women, the 15-year-old girl and three young girls. The 2-year-old abducted from Lake County, Florida, a 1-year-old and a 3-month-old girl were believed to be the daughters of one of the women. Police Chief Ken Manthey said the women gave false information about their identities and were taken to the police department with the children. Investigators then learned a boy was still at the residence, and officers found him locked in a closet and covered with severe burns. Police Lt. Mark Hahn said the boy had been tortured and burned with scalding water as punishment for failing to clean, and he also appeared to have been regularly locked in a closet. “The diagnosis is definite abuse, definite serial child torture, profound malnutrition of a child consistent with chronic medical neglect,” one investigator said. The boy was taken to University of Wisconsin Hospital in Madison. He is listed in guarded condition and will likely face a long recovery. The three small girls were placed in protective custody. Authorities said the boy had been tortured; sprayed with boiling water, whipped with electrical cords and nearly starved. His condition resembles pictures of those coming out of concentration camps at the end of World War II, Columbia County District Attorney Jane Kohlwey said. “It’s horrible what we’re seeing,” she said.

Police arrested the two women in the house on suspicion of obstruction of justice and physical abuse of a child. They were identified, as Candace Clark, 23, and Michaela Clerc, 20. Clark is believed to be the mother of the three small children. For images of those arrested, the house and the young abducted child, see story at: http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/45566877.html

Sample Letter:

District Attorney Jane Kohlwey:
Email: jane.kohlwey@da.wi.gov@da.wi.gove

Dear Prosecutor Kohlwey,

I would like to thank you for your public service and ask you to ensure a speedy trial with no games allowed, get a private attorney to represent these children ’s rights pro-bono and allow them to testify in this case in order to obtain maximum sentencing against the three defendant’s Clark, Clerc and Sisk for the brutal torture of this 11 year old boy, the murder of his mother and abduction of the little girl, Courtney Clark who clearly displays some type of neglect or abuse.

Four CHILDREN DIE EACH DAY in America from abuse. There are nearly 3 million abuse cases reported each year BUT, the Department of Justice says the number is actually 3 times higher, nearer to 9 million, as MOST go unreported. Please set an example for the rest of the country that you will not tolerate child abuse of any kind and that you will net let the defense team play their usual games in getting charges reduced to nothing. Americans want zero tolerance and all child abusers/murderers placed behind bars for good.

Thank you for your service,

(Name)
(Email) (see note below)

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RECENT CASES since January, 2009:

These are certainly NOT ALL of the cases, only those CWAV have found.
July-09, 8 year old put in choke hold and shot point blank in temple-Chesnee, SC
June-09, 2 yr old Jada Justice beaten, burned, buried in concrete-Lake County, IN
June-09, 2 yr old shaken, dies-Coshocton County, OH
June-09, 8 mo old raped, beaten by boyfriend, dies-LA
June-09, Mother put feces in 3 yr old’s IV at hospital, FL
June-09, 3 yr old raped, Jacksonville, FL
June-09, 4 middle school students sodomize 12 year with broom stick-FLA
May-09, two children thrown from bridge by mother-4 yr old dies-Portland, OR.
May-09, 22 mo old dies, dad arrested, abused when a few mos old-Jacksonville,FL
May-09, 5 week old dies, mother arrested, her 4 mo old died last 11-08.Palatka, FL
May-09, 3 mo old thrown from car-dies-Tampa, FL-Defendant-Richard McTear
May-09, 5 yr old missing, found dead in concrete-MI.
May-09, 3 yr old buried in playground sand-Albuquerque, NM
May-09, 17 mo old dies-blunt force head trauma-Savannah, GA
May-09, 6 mo old dies-alcohol poisoning-PA
9 yr old disabled child found dead in storage unit-Flint, MI
3 children severely abused-CA
10 mo dies – MO
8 year old murdered – CA

2 yr old beaten, raped, dies-MO
11 mo beaten, dies – SC
4 mo old, beaten, fractured skull-vertabrae-MA
16 yr old raped by stepfather, police Chief – NC
2 children sold for cash and bird-LA
2 mo old – 6 mo old molested, babysitting service – IN
3 mo old dies, father arrested – TX
3 year old, scalded-20 surgeries, 11 mos in hospital – MD
8 week old, severe brain damage, IN
5 mo old put in clothes dryer, dies – LA
6 week old broken bones, beaten IN
2 yr old beaten, scalded, dies – CO
2 yr old dead – Atlanta, GA
2yr old raped murdered – Murray, KY
2 yr old murdered – Enterprise, OR
4 mo old dies – Bingham County, UT
16 mo old dies – Deerfield, IL
6 mo old murdered by mother & boyfriend-Dallas, TX
11 mo old beaten to death – IN
4 children ages 17 mos – 13 abused and raped – NY
20 mo old beaten to death – NY
3 yr old beaten and placed in scalding hot water – LA
foster children’s mass grave found in Marianna, Fla
13 yr old murdered by Adopted father – TX
6 mo old beaten and murdered Greenvill, NC
3 year old beaten and raped – UT
17 mo old beaten with fractured & broken bones – TN
6 year old tortured – Wheeling, WV
4 year old dies from starvation – Miss
2 year old raped and murdered – Lexington, KY

5 week old beating-dies-FLA

NOTE TO ADVOCATE: DO NOT LIST YOUR CITY AND STATE IF YOU DO NOT LIVE IN THE STATE THE CRIME OCCURRED. SOME ELECTED OFFICIALS DO NOT CARE OF YOUR OPINION IF YOU DO NOT RESIDE IN THEIR JURISDICTION. BUT PLEASE LIST YOUR NAME AND EMAIL. THANK YOU.

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CandleLight Vigil For Amber Dubois

Monday, July 13th will mark five long months that Amber Dubois has been missing.

Please Join Her Family And Friends For A Candlelight Vigil

Monday, July 13th at 8pm

in front of the

BARNES & NOBLE

810 West Valley Parkway

Escondido, CA

Light Amber’s Way Home!

Puppy Survives Beating

At just a tender 5 months old, an adorable Labrador mix inspired not love and affection, but the kind of brutality that gives us all nightmares. “Teenagers allegedly abducted the helpless and trusting puppy from his property, took him to an abandoned home and beat him”. The case is pending, and they are charged with using a sledgehammer handle, a rock and a beer bottle with the mission of causing this pup as much pain as possible. Miraculously, the puppy survived – even after suffering without medical treatment for 24 hours. He sustained skull fractures, numerous cuts, a broken leg and a terrible eye injury.

Unable to afford the puppy’s medical care, the owner finally surrendered him to a local animal shelter, where the puppy was renamed “Justice.”

Justice – and the shelter where he had been taken – still needed help. The puppy’s ghastly injuries required medical care that went beyond what the shelter could afford on its shoestring budget. Then American Humane stepped in…with the help of donars the organization provided vital support through their Second Chance® Fund, a grant program for animal shelters that provides medical care to treat animals in need like Justice, who suffer from life threatening injuries resulting from abuse. ustice immediately received medical treatment. The veterinarian was unable to save Justice’s eye, but the courageous little dog otherwise made a full recovery.

No animal deserves to be treated brutally, ever. But we are fortunate that there is a caring, dedicated grant program to help animals who are victimized by senseless acts of brutality.

Every abused and neglected animal deserves a second chance!

Although Justice’s eye was irreparably damaged, his spirit is as strong as ever. Amazingly, he did not lose his sweet temperament following the dreadful beating he took. He is now living with a loving family that recently adopted him. Please give whatever you can to help other animals like Justice the new lives they so justly deserve.

American Humane

The Second Chance Fund

Missing Child Alert: Benjamin Kaiser-Griffin

Passing this information along for the “National Vigil For Hope”

We need your help, please repost and lets spread the word about missing 9-year old Arizona boy Benjamin Kaiser-Griffin. His father is believed to have taken Ben to Washington State, Mexico City, or Hawaii.

Together, I know we can make a happy homecoming for his mother Shelly – thank you in advance for lending a helping hand! Please visit www.myspace.com/findbenjamin. If you know their whereabouts please call 911 right away.

For Investigation Inquiries or Tips:
Detective Chris Keipert #387
Chandler Police Department
Criminal Investigations Bureau
Persons Crimes Section
Family Crimes Unit
480-782-4130 or 911

Man who took son ‘Living off Grid’

For all Media Requests:
Michelle A. Bart
Helping Heroes / National Vigil For Hope
helpingheroes@earthlink.net
(subject line BKG #09-064485)
626-644-3472 cell/voice

Hang Up The Phone And DRIVE!

Many studies show that talking on a cell phone while driving causes auto accidents. A cell phone can be very distracting…especially when you are driving a vehicle . When it rings…you have to fish it out of your pocket, purse, bag, or briefcase, flip it open, find the “talk” button and then hold it to your ear to speak. All the while…you are not paying attention to the road or the drivers around you, which can, and does, cause auto accidents.

When you are driving, regardless of how experienced a driver you are or how lax traffic may be, you can cause an accident by trying to talk to someone on your cell phone while you are driving.

There are plenty of accessories for your cell phone that can help to prevent accidents such as hands free head sets and Bluetooth…which means you can speak on your cell phone with only the press of one button…and in some cases…by voice activation. These accessories drastically reduce the chance of a auto collision by keeping your attention on the road instead of on your phone.

No phone call is that important. And no one is that much in a hurry that you have to fiddle with your cell phone while you are driving. Your caller can leave a message and you can return their phone call.

Ideally, if the phone call is important, finding a safe place to pull your car over on the side of the road…out of the way of traffic is the ideal way to answer your phone while you are driving. However, some accidents are caused when people are swerving over to the side of the road to get to that “safe place” to pull over.

It is important that you remain concentrated on the task at hand, driving, and wait until it is safe to pull over. Slamming on your brakes or swerving across lanes of traffic is not concentrated or safe and can cause cell phone auto accidents really easily.

Not only is answering the phone a distraction for drivers…but reaching for it…dropping it and rooting around for it in a purse, pocket or bag, is equally as distracting. Many accidents have been caused while drivers are distracted trying to locate or reach their cell phones.

The only solution for accidents is to stop using them in vehicles all together…or only use them with hands free…voice activated accessories. In this technological age…it seems that everyone has a cell phone. And everyone is in a hurry to find out who is on the other line.

With cell phone technology has come accessories that limit distractions to drivers. Hands free…voice activated accessories allow drivers to answer the cell phone…speak to the caller and end the call with voice activation only. While it may seem like an unnecessary expense…wrecking your car…driving the price of your auto insurance to the sky or potentially ending your life is a much bigger price to pay.

A Harvard University study shows that cell phones cause over 200 deaths and half a million injuries each year in the United States. These injuries and deaths…as well as the vehicles that are ruined…can be drastically reduced if drivers stay focused on the road and other drivers rather than on answering a call.

When people drive in their vehicles…there are many distractions that can cause accidents…including loud music, smoking cigarettes, crying babies, and more. Imagine that you have your music on loud to sooth the crying baby…you’re smoking a cigarette and you can hear your cell phone ringing somewhere in your purse. You are on the highway trying to get to the baby’s doctor appointment in time.

Now, you have some serious distractions. You have to turn down the music, put down your cigarette…sooth the baby yourself, find your cell phone, and answer it all while you are driving. A cell phone auto accident waiting to happen? Absolutely.

This is just one example of how drivers can be so completely distracted while they are driving. In the example above, it would have been easier for that person to ignore the phone call until they got to their destination.

Cell phone auto accidents can be avoided… with proper care and attention while driving. So hang up the phone…and drive!

RIP Michael Jackson-Childhood

Michael once said…”Listen to this song if you want to know who I am.”

We never really know what people go through, even when their lives are constantly scrutinized & observed through cameras & media. I hope Michael has found the peace he sought. One man through music, has impacted the entire world. That’s a legacy, regardless of controversy. I pray for the Jackson family.  Goodbye for now Micheal…God’s peace be with you.

When did she become the supporter of them?

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halfpint42592 says:

John: I thought about the questioned you raised as far as the Anthony’s having any friends. While I often wondered that myself, I did notice on MM’s blog that there is someone that is a supposed very good friend of the family and actually passes on warm words from MM to Cindy… Hmmmm, while it very well may be true, it seems funny to me that this person is so outspoken on the blog and yet I have never seen anyone stand up in the media and say: ” wait a minute these people are not what they appear to be”. I could be wrong ( it wouldn’t be the first time:) ) , but I just find it odd that this person is now conversing everyday with MM and actually brings back answers as to how her warm wishes were received. Furthermore, and I will ask her anyway so I don’t care if she reads this here: When did she become the supporter of them? I seem to remember that she was crucifying them along with us. Oh well… to each is own.”
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First let me say thank you to halfpint42592 for admitting that “Crucifying them” is indeed what has been going on. Second…she obviously has not been reading the conversation between Tengard1 and myself. I have never once denied that at one point…I too was involved in criticizing the Anthony family…however…NEVER to the extent of some of the other bloggers here at WordPress. Those times that I did join in… I struggled openly and publicly with my conscience. Why? Because I knew it was wrong!!  Like them or not…these two grandparents are hurting and will always have a hole in their heart. Halfpint42592, why do you find it odd that Tengard1 (a close personal friend of George and Cindy Anthony) would be conversing with me? Could it be that anytime anyone says anything in defense of George or Cindy on some of the other blogs out there…it is equivalent to kicking a fire ant bed? Then, if the person continues to defend the Anthony family…they are immediately sent to the SPAM filter. I am absolutely positive that George and Cindy Anthony have loyal and devoted friends. Perhaps some of them do not step forward because they already know the routine? Maybe they realize by now that if they do or say anything publicly on behalf of the family…soon they too will find themselves investigated by the court of public opinion…someone will dig into their personal loves and/or records and publish it all over the blogs. I don’t believe the reason their friends have not stepped in front of camera’s or allowed themselves to be interviewed by reporters  is because they are ashamed of being a friend of George and Cindy…they just know that if they do…their words will be twisted and distorted to mean something horrible. None of you want to hear anything positive about George and Cindy Anthony.

CayleeMarieAnthonyFoundation

“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”

In the USA…over 900,000 children are victims of abuse & neglect every year. Child abuse is so common…yet shocking . Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect, the scars can be deep and long-lasting…often leading to future child abuse. Learning the signs and symptoms of child abuse can help break the cycle… finding out where to get help for the children and their caregivers.

Why would someone abuse an innocent child? Child abuse happens in all social groups and all ethnicity. Sadly…the abuse is overwhelmingly caused by those who are supposed to be protecting the child- the parents.

There are many forms of abuse…but the result is the same- serious physical or emotional harm. Physical or sexual abuse may be the most striking types of abuse…since they often unfortunately leave physical evidence behind. However…emotional abuse and neglect are serious types of child abuse that are often more subtle and difficult to spot. Child neglect is the most common type of child abuse.

Risk factors for child abuse include:

History of child abuse. Unfortunately… the patterns we learn in childhood are often what we use as parents. Without treatment and insight…sadly, the cycle of child abuse often continues.

Stress and lack of support. Parenting can be a very time intensive…difficult job. Parents caring for children without support from family…friends or the community can be under a lot of stress. Teen parents often struggle with the maturity and patience needed to be a parent. Caring for a child with a disability…special needs or difficult behaviors is also a challenge. Caregivers who are under financial or relationship stress are at risk as well.

Alcohol or drug abuse. Alcohol and drug abuse lead to serious lapses in judgment. They can interfere with impulse control making emotional and physical abuse more likely. Due to impairment caused by being intoxicated…alcohol and drug abuse frequently lead to child neglect Domestic violence. Witnessing domestic violence in the home… as well as the chaos and instability that is the result…is emotional abuse to a child. Frequently domestic violence will escalate to physical violence against the child as well.

All types of child abuse and neglect leave lasting scars. Some of these scars might be physical…but emotional scarring has long lasting effects throughout life…damaging a child’s sense of self and ability to have healthy relationships.

Physical child abuse: Warning signs and how to help
Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline…ways to make children learn to behave. But there’s a big difference between giving an unmanageable child a swat on the backside and twisting the child’s arm until it breaks. Physical abuse can include striking a child with the hand, fist, or foot or with an object, burning, shaking, pushing, or throwing a child; pinching or biting the child, pulling a child by the hair or cutting off a child’s air. Another form of child abuse involving babies is shaken baby syndrome… in which a frustrated caregiver shakes a baby roughly to make the baby stop crying…causing brain damage that often leads to severe neurological problems and even death.

Warning signs of physical abuse
Physical signs…Sometimes physical abuse has clear warning signs…such as unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts. While all children will take a tumble now and then, look for age-inappropriate injuries…injuries that appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt, or a pattern of severe injuries.

Behavioral signs…Other times…signs of physical abuse may be more subtle. The child may be fearful…shy away from touch or appear to be afraid to go home. A child’s clothing may be inappropriate for the weather…such as heavy, long sleeved pants and shirts on hot days.

Caregiver signs…Physically abusive caregivers may display anger management issues and excessive need for control. Their explanation of the injury might not ring true…or may be different from an older child’s description of the injury.

Emotional child abuse
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. This old saying could not be farther from the truth. Emotional child abuse may seem invisible. However…because emotional child abuse involves behavior that interferes with a child’s mental health or social development…the effects can be extremely damaging and may even leave deeper lifelong psychological scars than physical abuse.

Words…Examples of how words can hurt include constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child, calling names and making negative comparisons to others…or constantly telling a child he or she is “no good”, “worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake.” How the words are spoken can be terrifying to a child as well…such as yelling, threatening, or bullying.

Actions…Basic food and shelter may be provided…but withholding love and affection can have devastating effects on a child. Examples include ignoring or rejecting a child…giving him or her the silent treatment. Another strong component of emotional abuse is exposing the child to inappropriate situations or behavior. Especially damaging is witnessing acts that cause a feeling of helplessness and horror…such as in domestic violence or watching another sibling or pet be abused.

Signs of emotional child abuse
Behavioral signs…Since emotional child abuse does not leave concrete marks…the effects may be harder to detect. Is the child excessively shy, fearful or afraid of doing something wrong?

Caregiver signs…Does a caregiver seem unusually harsh and critical of a child…belittling and shaming him or her in front of others? Has the caregiver shown anger or issues with control in other areas? A caregiver may also seem strangely unconcerned with a child’s welfare or performance. Keep in mind that there might not be immediate caregiver signs. Tragically… many emotionally abusive caregivers can present a kind outside face to the world…making the abuse of the child all the more confusing and scary.

Sexual abuse…defined as any sexual act between an adult and a child…has components of both physical and emotional abuse. Sexual abuse can be physical…such as inappropriate fondling, touching and actual sexual penetration. It can also be emotionally abusive…as in cases where a child is forced to undress or exposing a child to adult sexuality. Aside from the physical damage that sexual abuse can cause…the emotional component is powerful and far reaching. The layer of shame that accompanies sexual abuse makes the behavior doubly traumatizing. While news stories of sexual predators are scary…what is even more frightening is that the adult who sexually abuses a child or adolescent is usually someone the child knows and is supposed to trust: a relative, childcare provider, family friend, neighbor, teacher, coach, or clergy member. Children may worry that others won’t believe them and will be angry with them if they tell. They may believe that the abuse is their fault…and the shame is devastating and can cause lifelong effects.

Signs of sexual child abuse
Behavioral signs…Does the child display knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age…or even seductive behavior? A child might appear to avoid another person… or display unusual behavior- either being very aggressive or very passive. Older children might resort to destructive behaviors to take away the pain…such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-mutilation, or suicide attempts.

Physical signs…A child may have trouble sitting or standing, or have stained, bloody or torn underclothes. Swelling, bruises, or bleeding in the genital area is a red flag. An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14, is a strong cause of concern.

Caregiver signs…The caregiver may seem to be unusually controlling and protective of the child…limiting contact with other children and adults. Again, as with other types of abuse… sometimes the caregiver does not give outward signs of concern. This does not mean the child is lying or exaggerating.

Child neglect is the most frequent form of child abuse. Neglect is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs…endangering a child’s physical and psychological well-being. Child neglect is not always deliberate. Sometimes, a caregiver becomes physically or mentally unable to care for a child…such as in untreated depression or anxiety. Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe. The end result…however, is a child who is not getting their physical and/or emotional needs met.

Warning signs of child neglect
Physical signs…A child may consistently be dressed inappropriately for the weather…or have ill-fitting, dirty clothes and shoes. They might appear to have consistently bad hygiene… like appearing very dirty, matted and unwashed hair, or noticeable body odor. Another warning sign is untreated illnesses and physical injuries.

Behavioral signs…Does the child seem to be unsupervised? School children may be frequently late or tardy. The child might show troublesome…disruptive behavior or be withdrawn and passive.

Caregiver signs…Does the caregiver have problems with drugs or alcohol? While most of us have a little clutter in the home…is the caregivers home filthy and unsanitary? Is there adequate food in the house? A caregiver might also show reckless disregard for the child’s safety…letting older children play unsupervised or leaving a baby unattended. A caregiver might refuse or delay necessary health care for the child.

What to do if a child reports abuse
You may feel overwhelmed and confused if a child begins talking to you about abuse. It is a difficult subject and hard to accept…and you might not know what to say. The best help you can provide is calm…unconditional support and reassurance. Let your actions speak for you if you are having trouble finding the words. Remember that it is a tremendous act of courage for children to come forward about abuse. They might have been told specifically not to tell…and may even feel that the abuse is normal. They might feel they are to blame for the abuse. The child is looking to you to provide support and help- don’t let him or her down.

Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child…or show shock or disgust at what they are saying…the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be…remain as calm and reassuring as you can.

Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his/her own words what happened…but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions. This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.

Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong. It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously…and that it is not the child’s fault.

Reporting child abuse and neglect
Reporting child abuse seems so official. Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families lives. However, by reporting…you can make a tremendous difference in the life of a child and the child’s family…especially if you help stop the abuse early. Early identification and treatment can help mitigate the long-term effects of abuse. If the abuse is stopped and the child receives competent treatment…the abused child can begin to regain a sense of self-confidence and trust. Some parents may also benefit from support…parent training and anger management.

Reporting child abuse: Myths and Facts
I don’t want to interfere in some one else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong…affecting future relationships, self esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.

What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home – unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes…anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.

They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states…you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.

It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture…others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.

Child Abuse Hotlines: Where to call to get help or report abuse
If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.

To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

To get help for child sexual abuse, call:

1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) Stop It Now

1-800-656-HOPE Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

Child abuse prevention
Reducing the incidence of child abuse is a matter of intervention and education.

Intervention
In some cases, as in cases of extreme cruelty, sexual abuse, and severe alcohol and drug abuse…children are safer away from the caregiver. Not all abusive parents intend harm to their children, however. Some parents need help to realize that they are hurting their children…and can work on their problems. Some examples include:

Domestic violence. A mother might be trying to do her best to protect her children from an abusive husband…not realizing that the children are being emotionally abused even if they are not physically abused. Helping a mother leave an abusive relationship and getting supportive counseling can help stop these children from being abused.

Alcohol and drug abuse…Alcohol and drug abusers may be so focused on their addiction that they are hurting their children without realizing it. Getting appropriate help and support for alcohol and drug abuse can help parents focus back on their children.
Untreated mental illness… A depressed mother might not be able to respond to her own needs much less her children’s. A caregiver suffering from emotional trauma may be distant and withdrawn from her children…or quick to anger without understanding why. Treatment for the caregiver means better care for the children.

In some cases…you might be able to provide support for parents/caregivers who need help yourself. What if a parent or caregiver comes to you? The key is not to be self-righteous or judgmental…which can alienate caregivers, but offer support and concrete offers of help, such as helping them connect with community resources. If you feel that your safety or the safety of the child would be threatened if you try to intervene…leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.

For caregivers
Do you see yourself in some of these descriptions…painful as it may be? Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Caring for children can be very difficult. Don’t go it alone. Ask for help if you need it. If you don’t have a friend or family to turn to…call the child abuse hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD, yourself. The hotline is also designed to get you support and find resources in the community that can help you.

Adji Desir Is Still Missing

Case Type: Endangered Missing DOB: Oct 22, 2002 Sex: Male Missing Date: Jan 10, 2009 Race: Black Age Now: 6 Height: 3’0″ (91 cm) Missing City: IMMOKALEE Weight: 45 lbs (20 kg) Missing State : FL Hair Color: Black Missing Country: United States Eye Color: Brown Circumstances: Adji was last seen on January 10, 2009. He was last seen wearing a blue and yellow t-shirt, blue and yellow shorts, and black and gray sneakers. Collier County Sheriff’s Office (Florida) 1-239-793-9300 : Dozens of law enforcement officers from agencies around Southwest Florida joined over 100 CCSO deputies in the search for Adji Desir. Adji Desir was last seen leaving his home in Farm Workers Village around 7:15 p.m. to play outside. His grandmother went to check on him and he was gone. Adji stays with his grandmother and at his uncle’s home most of the time, According to Lieutenant Smith with CCSO. He was at his grandmother’s house Saturday night. Other children also live in the house. Investigators have learned that the boy is developmentally disabled and functions on a two-year-old level. The boy has a very limited vocabulary. He knows his name, but can not speak it. Adji understands Creole, but can not speak it. Deputies have talked to children who were outside with Adji when he went missing. They say they were playing and suddenly they noticed he was gone. A Helicopter completed a search of the swampland near Farm Worker’s Village. CCSO said he may be hiding from searchers http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28604944/

Recap:HumbleOpinion:Here Are Some REAL Questions For You

Well, HumbleOpinion it has been well over two weeks now and I’m still waiting on the answers to my questions. Hey listen…I am not the only person who would like to hear your answers. While there are a few people who really do not wish to become actively involved, some who think that you will delete them off of your blog if they direct questions your way…and then there are others much like myself who believe you are merely a coward..Still we would like to hear your answers.

Let me break those questions down for you.

1 You asked Michelle Bart to answer several questions about The Anthony family and the Case against Casey that you were fully aware that she could not answer… so you answered the questions yourself…Did you just ask those questions just so you could answer them yourself?

2. Why do you feel that Michelle Bart, the Anthony family, or anyone else for that matter owe you any sort of answer or  explanation…especially since you seem afraid to tell anyone about yourself.

3. Do you have a family, or friends? I do not mean people that you e-mail or chat with on your blog…I mean a real live family and or friends?

4. Other than Cindy Anthony and family…do you have any other interests?

5. Do you have some sort of weird physical/or perverted attraction for Cindy Anthony? You seem to be obsessed by her…why?

6. You claim that HumbleOpinion’s Weblog is the “Voice for Caylee Marie Anthony” what exactly has HumbleOpinion’s Weblog done for Caylee Marie Anthony?

7. You may think that the questions that I ask are none of mine nor the business of anyone else….however you seem to  feel that everything about Cindy Anthony is up for discussion, questions and your criticisms. She puts herself out there publicly…so you feel the public has a right to know….right?  Well…you put yourself out there publicly too…except you hide your true identity. What is it that you have to hide?

8. Why is it that every time questions or criticisms are directed at you…you run to WordPress or someone else to defend you?

Are You A Baby Daddy?

God took the strength of a mountain, The majesty of a tree, The warmth of the summer sun, The calm of a quiet sea,The generous soul of nature, The comforting arm of night, The wisdom of the ages, The power of the eagles flight, The joy of a morning in spring, The faith of a mustard seed,The patience of eternity, The depth of a family need, The God combined these qualities, When there was nothing more to add, He knew this masterpiece was complete, And so …he named it Dad.

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.  ~Author Unknown

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.  ~Ruth E. Renkel

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown

Any man can be a father.  It takes someone special to be a dad.  ~Author Unknown

The greatest gift I ever had

Came from God; I call him Dad!

~Author Unknown

I love my father as the stars – he’s a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart.  ~Adabella Radici

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.

Fathers then & nowToday is one of the first Father’s Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn’t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

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In 1900, a father’s horsepower meant his horses.Today, it’s the size of his minivan.

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In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success.Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.

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In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

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In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

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In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

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In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

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In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

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In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school.”Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

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In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge.”

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In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

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In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams: “I wanted Sega!”

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In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.Today, it’s Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.

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In 1900, a Father’s Day gift would be a hand tool.Today, he’ll get a digital organizer.

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In 1900, fathers said, “A man’s home is his castle.”Today, they say, “Welcome to the money pit.”

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In 1900, “a good day at the market” meant Father brought home feed for the horses.Today, “a good day at the market” means Dad got in early on an IPO.

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In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald’s.

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In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.Today, a father’s involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.

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In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.Today, kids glance up and grunt, “Dad, you’re invading my space.”

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In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suitors with shotguns if the girl came home late.Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that earring?”

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In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.

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In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.In 2009, fathers are never truly appreciated.

To all the fathers out there…Thank you so much for all that you do!

Missing: Rita Mae Midkiff Hughes

This is a re post in honor of my Nephew and his family.

When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
~Author Unknown

I have never met her and it is unlikely that I ever will. She is the mother of my nephew and sadly on December 6th 1986, she disappeared without a trace. My nephew said that the last time he saw her…she was sitting on the passenger side of the car… and was crying as his stepfather backed the car down the driveway. I know that this will probably do no good…but I try to put the information out there now and then. Who knows maybe someone might recognize her or maybe even remember something? We are pretty certain that she is no longer alive….but I just want to put this out there for my nephew with hope of giving him some closure. My nephew and his wife had their first child last December. Rita now has a beautiful grandson.

Rita Mae Hughes
Missing since December 6, 1986 from Houston, Harris County, Texas.
Classification: Involuntary

Vital Statistics

Date Of Birth: November 3, 1957

Age at Time of Disappearance: 29 years old

Height and Weight at Time of Disappearance: 5′5″; 120 lbs.

Distinguishing Characteristics: White female. Green eyes; brown hair. Hughes wears eyeglasses.

AKA: Rita Mae Midkiff

DNA: Available in CODIS

Circumstances of Disappearance
Hughes was last seen at the Trailways Bus Station in Houston where her husband left her to catch a bus. Her husband stated she was irrational, crying, and confused. Her mother reported her as a missing person on December 19, 1986. Rita Hughes has not attempted to contact any family members since her disappearance. Investigators in this case suspect foul play.

Investigators
If you have any information concerning this case, please contact:
Texas Missing Persons Clearinghouse
800-346-3243
Or
Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office
936-760-5800

Agency Case Number: 04A004606

NCIC Number: M-270519742
Please refer to this number when contacting any agency with information regarding this case.

Source Information:
Texas Missing Persons Clearinghouse
Montgomery County Crimestoppers

The Doe Network

NVFH Family & Sibling Forums

National, USA – The National Vigil For Hope has launched two new forums for families and siblings of missing loved ones. The NVFH Family & Sibling Forums are being hosted on Yahoo Health Groups and will be facilitated by two of the volunteer executive committee members from National Vigil For Hope.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/NVFHFamilies/?yguid=402852358

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/NVFHSiblings/

“The new forums were created to give the families and siblings a safe place to gather, talk, and lean on each other during the difficult times when faced with a missing loved one. The request was made during a conference call with families last month,” said Michelle Bart, national chairperson for National Vigil For Hope. “The aunt of missing California teen Amber Dubois and the sister of a missing teen in Pennsylvania both suggested something be created where the families and siblings could network,” said Bart.

Families wanting to join will need to contact the NVFH Forum Facilitators Tobi and Jessica at nvfhfamilies@yahoo.com in order to register.

Passing this information along for The National Vigil For Hope.
MM